Definition of Friend

The definition of “friend” as defined by dictionary.com is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter; a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.” That broad definition of friend is enough to make anyone think that everyone they come across in life is their friend. However, at what point does a person draw the line between a real friend and an acquaintance they’ve met online?

Friendship in a Nutshell

There are multiple levels of friendship; everyone can agree on that. There is the person that gives you a genial greeting and a reminder of how the initial contact was made. These are more of an acquaintance rather than a friend. Then there is the person that gives you a feeling of obligation to chat when an unexpected reunion happens in public.

Then there are the real friendships, the kind where there are no happenstance meetings. Everything is completely planned out, and most likely included several days of planning, many phone calls and/or texts and a rearranging of schedules. Nothing escapes these types of friendships. Maybe not every secret is shared, but there’s a deep bonding that is genuine and if the friend was no longer there, a feeling of loss would be felt.

Generally speaking, these friendships were forged over common ground. Maybe they grew up together, they met through work, they went to the same gym, or they had mutual friends that introduced them. The friendships are built on a solid foundation then nurtured. The nurturing includes conversations, lunch dates, a beer out after work, and/or texting. The idea is that the friendship is growing stronger through communication and being watered, if you will.

Online friendships are not much different. Although in the beginning stages, specifics are not shared, such as exactly where each lives, age, marital status, etc., a generalized description is provided. Something along the lines of residence is in the U.S., work in construction, male/female, etc. Oftentimes, the gender isn’t even shared, and if it is, there really is no telling if the person is being honest, lying, or simply protecting their own identity.

When meeting someone through a game, the common ground is established immediately. From there, conversations about strategy, joining up to do events together, and simply talking about the game begin to nurture the relationship. Eventually, situations that are personal or a few details of themselves start to be shared.

The thing is, in life, real life that is, friendships don’t always last very long. People go in different directions. Jobs change, marital status changes, colleges are joined, simply put life in general, does not stay the same. People lose track of each other. Texting has made it easier to keep in touch, but at the same time, it has also made it easier to lose common ground. This is why so many friendships have developed online through gaming. Friends don’t always have time to keep in touch, but when playing a video game, it is easy to tell when someone is online. It’s easy to share with them and not worry that they won’t answer since there’s a green light by their name indicating they are on. (thoughtcatalog.com)

When a friendship develops from a chance meeting online, going to raids together is a great way to bond. With a friendship in the “real” world, a trip to the zoo, or an art gallery or another public place is likely. However with that trip, there is a real possibility one or the other of the friends is only going because they know the other is into it and they couldn’t care less. Through online games, it’s already evident that both parties enjoy the game, otherwise they wouldn’t have been on the game in the first place.

Most gamers spend the majority of their free time in game. This is not a surprise. They may not be Pro Gamers, but playing the game is what they enjoy, therefore they do it when they can. This is their hobby. Being a gamer can be a lonely hobby though. Many people who are not gamers, don’t understand what the draw is. This causes the gamer to feel isolated, ridiculed, sometimes even bullied. The common response to that is to go into the game and chat with their friends they’ve made in game. They understand each other and start to feel better about their hobby again.

Friends are Friends, Regardless Where the Friendship Started From

To say that gaming friendships are not real is inaccurate. Many times, the friendships developed through the game are what helps someone get through a rough day at work. A friend in the “real” world is truly no different than one made online. The desire to talk with someone that understands you is real regardless if the friendship is in person or online. The world we live in now is vastly different than that of generations past. Technology allows us to connect with others on the other side of the world. People need people in their lives to provide them with encouragement, a sense of belonging, and understanding. If that friendship is developed online or in person, all that is important is that it has developed.

Sources:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/friend?s=t

Online Friends Vs. Real Life Friends: A Comparison

Image Credits:

Close up of friends playing video games at home [ID 69151688 © Syda Productions | Dreamstime.com]

Serious gamer is spending time in computer club [ID 103713838 © Olena Yakobchuk | Dreamstime.com]

Friends and video games. Two teenage gamers playing on console [ID 131384064 © Milkos | Dreamstime.com]